Haunted House Horror

My mom and Minghe decide to make us stay the night at a haunted house because we like ghosts so much, but we being kids who take no chances get a bunch of salt a turkey sandwiches, the Ipad and a pack of gum, and Matthew brings his cellphone and a dart gun, a dart rifle and a dart pistol. Mom drives us to the haunted house. Minghe and mom sleep outside. We get our sleeping bags and I turn on a GHOST DETECTOR APP and the level on ghost reads high!!! Me and Matthew both glance at each other, panicked. I say: ''Umm... Matthew how about we bring out those dart weapons about now???'' ''Sure,'' he says as he gives me the dart pistol. I give him the dart rifle and say, ''Let's both stand back to back so nothing can sneak up on us?'' ''Yeah,'' he says. We both wait for something to happen: ''Say, nothing's happened. Let's go to sleep,'' Matthew says. ''Yep,'' I mutter. Then I hear a blood-freezing scream like this: ''Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeehhhhhkkkkklllllliiiii!!!!!!!'' We both point our dart guns in every direction. ''Hey, I did not see that painting before when we walked in...'' I say, pointing to a portrait of a screaming old woman in a chair that's in the same room. ''Aaaaggggggrrrrrrhhhhh!!!'' me and Matthew scream in unison! We both bury ourselves in our covers: ''I do not think anything's happening',' I say to Matthew through a walkie-talkie in my sleeping bag. ''Yeah,'' says Matthew through his walkie-talkie. We get out from under the sleeping bag. Nothing's different, but the chair and the painting are gone! Then me and Matthew look at a GHOST CATCHING app that supposed to let you see ghosts. I look around with it. It shows a ghost in a captain's uniform with a dagger in his heart. ''Umm... Matthew”, I say, “we have company...'' We both run like two people getting chased by an army a demonic flesh-eating babies. Then i say: ''I think we lost him.” I search on Google, “GHOST CAPTAINS,” and find CAPTAIN DOOM: ''Henry Doom lived in Palo Alto, then he went and went on the ship, “The Monster” (Captain Doom and his ship are not real) but The Monster sank and he died, but some people say you can still see him for a moment in his house,'' I read then I say well: ''There are not any ghosts here. Let's get out the Ouija board and see if there are ANY NICE ghosts in this house. I bring it out.

I do: ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE HERE?

Then I see the response: YES, MORE THEN YOU THINK.

I do: ARE THERE ANY WHO WANT TO TALK TO US.

It does: YES.

Then I do: OKAY, GO RIGHT ON AHEAD.

Then IT goes: MY NAME IS MURPHY. I AM A GHOST.

''Yes,'' I say.

I AM A VIKING.

''Cool!!!''

I AM EVIL AND WANT TO POSSESS YOU AND MAKE YOU FALL OFF A CLIFF.

WHY, I do.

BECAUSE IT IS BORING BEING A GHOST!!!!!!

I do: IF I LOSE CONTACT WITH YOU CANNOT POSSESS ME, RIGHT?

It goes: NO DO NOT DO THAT!!!!

I do: WHY NOT? and do BYE-BYE EVIL DEMONIC VIKING GHOST.

''That was close,” I sigh with relief. Then I see a mosquito ghost. ''Ggrrrr.. I hate mosquitoes even if they're ghosts.” I say and I kill it by slapping the blood-sucking ghost, then I see a ghost caveman. I take a photo. ''I see saber-tooth out there,'' I say in caveman talk. ''Me kill saber-tooth,'' says the ghoulish primate, and floats away. ''That was strange,'' Matthew says. Then I see the first break of day. ''Whew,” Matthew says. “Let's go and find our stuff,” I say but then we see they're gone. Then we go and see a big fat greedy ghost. I say to him, ''Look, ghost, give us our stuff and I will tell you who you should haunt.'' ''Okay'' says the ghost and gives us our stuff. ''The person's name is...” ''Gee, thanks,'' says the fat ghost and disappears.